he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Alive.
So much puke
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
