and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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