Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
