So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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