I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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