What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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