yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
