Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
