The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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