all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Mom said you looked used
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
