if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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