my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
