I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
