I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
