Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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