About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
