Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
