i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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