i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
