You don't have asthma, your pregnant
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
