Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
