I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
