Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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