Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
