The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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