If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
