You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize