just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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