Me too!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
