so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
