now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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