my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
