Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
