just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize