Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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