some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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