i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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