remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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