I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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