Umm I'm too high to move.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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