Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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