guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
