We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize