really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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