I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
