All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
