I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
