i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
