I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
