Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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