I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
