I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
