I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
