so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
