I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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