It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
