HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
