oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I want a musical about memes.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
