Its about making memories worth repressing
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
