I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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