Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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