I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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