I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize