So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
