You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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